If Zoë Hansen-DiBello had her way, we’d all be talking about adoption because it impacts so many of us in different ways, directly and indirectly. “We need to start asking questions, and we need tools that then help us navigate those conversations,” says Hansen-DiBello, PhD, whose family made history as the first same-sex couple in Rhode Island to go before a judge for cross-adoption, legally recognizing that she and her sister indeed had two moms. That’s why she and Ellie Robinson, also an adoptee, co-developed the Unfolding app right here in Rhode Island to help adoptees explore their own stories and develop the tools to share and discuss them with others.
Hansen-DiBello and Robinson connected through the Providence chapter of Adoptees Connect, which Robinson facilitates. She also serves on the board of the national nonprofit organization. The two met for coffee at the Blue Kangaroo Cafe in Barrington to network, but their idea for the Unfolding app quickly took over the conversation. Hansen-DiBello recalls, “We met, had coffee, and I told her what my vision was. I was not expecting a partnership. I just thought I was getting information. And she sat back and asked, ‘Can I do this with you?’”
Initially, Hansen-DiBello’s idea was a card deck to support adoptees to explore their identities and the challenges they face, particularly around health and well-being. Together, they realized that to scale the project, they needed an app. The idea was to create a tool like wellness apps Calm or Headspace, but focused on the unique needs and experiences of adoptees. “It provides gentle exposure to a really complex identity,” adds Hansen-DiBello. “And it’s gently asking you to remain curious about who you are.” She explains that adoption is nuanced and complex, and the app guides adoptees through the critical process of making sense of what it means to the user, wherever they are in life.
The initial desire to create a tool for adoptees came to Hansen-DiBello during her own rite of passage as she prepared to give birth to her daughter, Rowan, more than 10 years ago. She acknowledges that life moments or milestones like marriage or going away to college often open up people’s curiosity about who they are. “Rowan was this inflection moment where I just started thinking that we need a way to process our identity that is not overly clinical and not overly academic.” She credits the journey of becoming a mom and seeing her own DNA reflected back at her with allowing herself to acknowledge the combination of elements of nature and nurture in her own identity. “They actually play off of each other and impact each other. Having Rowan sparked my curiosity, and because I am a curious person, I immediately wanted to know more.”
Hansen-DiBello admits that exploration at this level is long overdue. Society has not given adoptees the tools to feel permission to uncover who they are, and there’s education that needs to happen all around, even for non-adoptees – family, friends, and the larger community. In just a few short months, the response to the app has been terrific. “Many people have said, ‘it’s about time, or where has this been all my life?’ And many more want to know how they can help. I think that it’s clearly time we need to start talking.” Learn more about the Unfolding app at Unfolding-App.com. The tool is now available in the Apple App Store and is coming soon to Google Play. On social media, find accounts on Facebook at AdopteesConnectPVD and Instagram at @adopteesconnectprovidence.
Saturday, November 21 is National Adoption Day, a collective, grassroots effort to raise awareness of the more than 100,000 children waiting to be adopted from foster care in the United States. National Adoption Day has recognized more than 95,000 children moving from foster care to a permanent family. Find resources and learn more at AdoptionRI.org.
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